REALIZE
YOUR
POTENTIAL
One of the fundamental aspects of the quantum worldview, for instance, is that elementary particles exhibit a somewhat “schizophrenic” nature.
This word is used not in its complex clinical sense but in the conventional meaning of having a “split personality”—and every quantum entity indeed has the dual capacity to exist as either a wave or a particle. Physicists refer to this tendency as the wave-particle duality—a notion that rubs against our commonsense logic. Ordinarily, we believe that things either are or are not, that they are distinct in their nature.
This either-or thinking can also be referred to as binary thinking, which leaves only two distinct paths open to us. Binary thinking is a major aspect of how we observe and construct reality. Yet this either-or reality apparently doesn’t apply in the quantum realm and is questionable in our everyday lives as well.
This term proposes that as long as we do not know what the state of any object is, it actually exists in all possible states simultaneously, as long as we don’t look to check. In that sense, the wave represents pure possibility. The very act of observation reduces the wave (potential) to a fixed thing—a particle. This reduction is referred to as wave collapse.
When we have particular experiences and make certain observations of ourselves, or have them made of us—typically in childhood—we experience the psychological equivalent of a quantum wave collapse. As newborns or infants, if not at conception and in utero, we resemble the infinite possibilities of the wave; our personality, not yet defined, is in a state of potential. Notwithstanding matters of genetics, environmental influences, or considerations of archetypal, astrological, or karmic influences (however we may feel about those concepts), our identity is not yet determined and fixed.
But before long, we move from the potential of the wave to the “thingness” of the particle. The personal evolution of our personality gets stunted, and our growth becomes fitful.
These events need not be traumatic; they may, in fact, be subtle. Yet in those moments, our potential fades. It’s as if we have taken a snapshot of ourselves, and we become frozen in time. I refer to these as confining wave collapses, in contrast to the defining wave collapses that usher in defining moments. We are no longer the potential of the wave but the finiteness of the particle. And we carry this picture of ourselves with us through our lives, allowing it to burden and limit us. We lose the authorship of our life story.
To free yourself from repeating harmful and confining wave collapses, consider this Possibility Principle: In the nanosecond before your next thought, you are in a state of pure potential. In the space between our thoughts, we are similar to the wave—full of possibility.
Once we attach to our next thought, the ensuing wave collapses, and we create our reality in that moment. If we continue to have self-limiting or injurious thoughts, we remain adhered to the damaging effects of the primary wave collapse. In therapy, a client often experiences a breakthrough, a significant moment during which a highly anticipated insight becomes illuminated.
This event presents a new state of potential and, with it, the possibility of a defining moment, in which the client can break into new terrain. The person will then select which reality to summon by thinking either “What a relief! I’ve broken through” or “What’s wrong with me? Why has this taken so long?” One thought is self-affirming and offers relief and the possibility of vaulting forward, while the other is self-critical and resists progress. The thought you select will chart your path.
Simply put, the thought we engage will summon the reality of our next moment. We can move forward in breaking new ground, or we can summon an old familiar thought, abandoning the insight. Obviously, we can choose vastly differing experiences. The potential is all that exists prior to the next thought. Our struggle with change is in part caused by our habituation to old thoughts.
I was at an office party where I went to talk to a colleague named Jim. Jim was engaged in conversation with others and didn’t notice me waiting to introduce herself. Shortly thereafter, Jim left the conference without acknowledging me at all!
I learned that my confining wave collapse of feeling devalued set in motion my lifelong inner narrative. I could see the automatic nature of my thought coming through in the statement, “I guess I’m not important enough for him to wait for me.” This is because growing up, I was often ignored by my mother and this left a large impact on my self-esteem.
When I learned about the theory behind wave collapse, I quickly grasped the concept. I envisioned an alternative and positive wave collapse in which my mother had been maternally inclined and actually doted on me. I allowed myself this alternative point of view and considered that perhaps I wasn’t irrelevant. Doing so meant that I also needed to embrace my discomfort as I moved beyond the limits of my familiar zone.
Appreciating how the wave collapses in our lives informed our sense of self is essential in priming the pump for change. Often the meanings we attribute to the events of our personal history prevent us from creating effective change as we are reduced to seeing ourselves as victims. Many adults have memories of an abusive, loveless, or disappointing childhood because they didn’t receive the nurturing and love that is every child’s birthright.
But if we choose to keep focusing on limiting events of our past, then we choose a present that predicts a similar future. At some point, we need to stop choosing to believe the meaning we ascribed to our past and script a different present.
One day I recalled the words my mother spoke to me when I was about eight years old: “When I learned I was pregnant with you, I told your father I didn’t want another baby.” Even though my mother was otherwise devoted and loving, I took that personally. I felt unwanted and therefore unlovable, then and ever since.
I carried this core belief with me throughout my whole life. my own inner monologue was perpetually self-critical, confirming my belief that I wasn’t lovable. The snapshot I had taken of herself myself in my early life had become etched into my psyche as my embedded truth.
My belief affected my relations with my husband, children, and friends. Notwithstanding my husband Bob’s loving devotion to me, I questioned his loyalty and truthfulness in light of seeing myself as unlovable. My belief about myself was becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy: I was forcing Bob to withdraw his love as his frustration mounted.
Apparently, what I experienced is not uncommon, what we believe to be true about ourselves—and others—contribute to our reality-making process. Prior to my mother’s remark, my identity could have evolved in limitless ways, but that range of possibility became narrowed by that one short sentence. Being more aware of this situation by thinking about my potentiality has helped me tremendously
For virtually all of us whose beliefs have been ingrained with the mechanistic worldview, the world as seen through quantum physics appears to be suffused with a kind of nonrational strangeness.
This is not to suggest that we either avoid or suppress painful memories. By all means, we need to bring them into the light and process them, so we can loosen their grip on us. The goal, though, is to disarm them and eventually release them. The thought that we choose in the present moment is almost entirely responsible for who we are in that moment. If we continue to summon the same habitual thoughts, we won’t realize the potential that awaits us.
What we are seeking are new wave collapses that implant positive self-reflections and identities as we grow past the grip of the negative ones.
You are more than your experiences, and an infinite potential awaits you as you allow your identity to evolve. Once you learn to see how your beliefs are informing you, you are free to break into new terrain and achieve a defining moment. Witness your thoughts and recognize the story they are telling you. Don’t confuse them with the truth. You can learn to rewrite your story.
Many individuals were fortunate enough to have experienced exemplary defining wave collapses that affirmed them and helped them to secure a strong sense of self. This typically leads to healthy self-esteem that enables them to craft their personalities and experiences free from constrictive encumbrances. But those of us who haven’t yet experienced such a gift can learn how to overcome our burdens and reach the full range of our possibilities.
The new principle derived from the participatory worldview—potentiality—invites us to free ourselves from aspects of our past that don’t serve us. We needn’t stay stuck in the fixed state of the particle but can ride the possibilities of the wave.
Excerpts from: Mel Schwartz. “The Possibility Principle.” CHAPTER 5. Becoming the Master of Your Thinking and CHAPTER 3. Recovering Our Lost Potential
Notes
1.Jon Kabat-Zinn and Richard J. Davidson, eds., The Mind’s Own Physician: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama on the Healing Power of Meditation (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2013).
His Holiness the Dalai Lama, The Universe in a Single Atom: The Convergence of Science and Spirituality (New York: Morgan Road Books, 2005).
David Bohm, Thought as a System (London: Routledge, 1994). Much of my understanding of the nature of thought has been influenced by the pioneering work of David Bohm. Widely considered one of the most significant theoretical physicists of the twentieth century, Bohm contributed innovative and unorthodox ideas to quantum theory and the nature of thought and dialogue. A good part of what follows in this book is inspired by his insights, expanded upon and further developed by my own work and therapeutic innovations.
Debbie Hampton, “How Your Thoughts Change Your Brain, Cells and Genes,” The Huffington Post, March 23, 2016, huff.to/22FnGZP.
2.Kathy Gilsinan, “The Buddhist and the Neuroscientist: What Compassion Does to the Brain,” The Atlantic, July 4, 2015, theatln.tc/1M2jWJ3.
3.Fabrizio Benedetti, Elisa Carlino, and Antonella Pollo, “How Placebos Change the Patient’s Brain,” Neuropsychopharmacology (2011): 36, 339–54, doi:10.1038/npp.2010.81 (published online June 30, 2010).”